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Claire the Vampire by Frigidchick Claire the Vampire by Frigidchick
I moved everyone into the world, and decided to check on the newly aged babies:

***RECORD SCRATCH SOUND***

Claire is a fucking vampire!?

Wait a minute!!! Claire?!

Isn't Leon the Fucking Hellsing--- aka stabbing Vampire Sims in the heart and shit (YES, he does. The pop-ups say so.)

WTF are you doing? You have twin boys to look after. What are they going to think when their Dad SLAYS their mother!?

So, I'm going to make up a story. Instead of a Quick!Draw, I'm going to do a Quick!Write.


Okay, here goes:
Hellsing!Leon was out and about "killing" vampires. When a few bloodsuckers decided they had "Enough of his BULLSHIT!" and struck home.

They attacked the CLEON residence.... And FAILED.... sorta.

By the time Leon arrived, to save the day--or night-- the blood suckers were dead..... and so was Claire. Their twin sons survived the attack, because she tricked them into going into the attic:

******Flashback*******

Claire: "Vampires! Quick to the attic!"

Edward: "The fuck kind of strategy is THAT?"

David: "Maybe Dad's guns are up there!"

Edward: "NICE!! I got the Magnum!"

David: "I call Shotgun!!"

Claire: ***smdh*** "Uhm.... right! Let's go to the.... uhhhh, hidden Weapons' Stash!"

Edward & David: "FUCK YEAH!" **rushes up into the attic**

Claire: ***SLAMS & LOCKS the attic drop-down door***

Edward & David: "HEY!"

Claire: "AHA! The Weapons' Stash are in the BASEMENT!" **runs off to fight vampires ***

Edward: "Oh, WTF? MOM!!!! I don't want to be stuck up here with all these.... Oooh! Hidden Christmas Presents!"

David: "Hell Yeah!"

Claire: "DOH!!"
***Flashback over****


ANYway.... Who wants to tell Chris Redfield that his sister's dead, lying in a pool of her own blood?

Not Leon. He wants to remain Biohazard's Official Pretty-Boy Hero. He needs his face, bone structure, and organs.

So, he allows Claire to turn.

Maybe...... no one will notice.

Housewives of Sunset Valley:

Claire: "Well, my skin looks GREAT. I love this 'glow'. It's like I'm pregnant, but there are no crotch-fruits in my body, or crankiness, and puking."

Leon: "Yeah, that was SO charming."

Claire: **rollseyes** Not NEARLY as 'charming' as you...."

Leon: "Damn, right--"

Claire: ".... Cross-dressing as 'Nurse Meat Pipe'."

Leon: "Guh--Uh!! FUCK! SHUT-UP! That was YOUR FUCKING IDEA----uH... I--I..... i.... UHMM... Shut-up!"
**gets up from the set & leaves**

Claire: **Grinch-Grin**
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsynthetic--ecstasy:
Synthetic--Ecstasy Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Brutally slay LOL
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
~_^
Reply
:icondead82:
dead82 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2011  Hobbyist Interface Designer
she's a little sister!
AOOOO the irony!!!
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol! Oh yeah!!! Bioshock!!! I have that damn game and didn't put it together!! Derp!
Reply
:icondead82:
dead82 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011  Hobbyist Interface Designer
8D
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
u cnt defeat him
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol! Word.
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
u gettin resident evil operation racoon city
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
If it's not a rail shooter, sure.
Those Umbrella guys remind me of a Metal Gear Solid game--
it'd be fun to do some of that again.
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha copyright
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:D

I love the Metal Gear Solid series. My brother and I would take turns on areas and try to kill the enemies in the most insane way.
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
suicide
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL!!!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconw4rh0us3:
W4RH0US3 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist
looks alittle skinny
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, I'm going to say... it's due to the slider range hack I recently altered. The max was at x3 slider range-- I increased it to x5.

Now most of the 'fit' sims. When, I checked the 'buxom' sims.... they were suddenly circus freaks.

I will fix this.... all of it.

Storywise, she's restraining herself from draining her kids and hubby. j/k She's also hiding from her brother, who will spaz out.
Reply
:iconbdog375:
BDOG375 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
LOLZ
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconcheshiregrinn:
CheshireGrinn Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011
I'm jealous of those epic eyes. :<
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I know! She looks so... awesome.
Reply
:iconcheshiregrinn:
CheshireGrinn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011
Badass~ :la:
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Laaaaa!!!
Reply
:iconcheshiregrinn:
CheshireGrinn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011
I think that's my favorite emoticon ever. :la::la::la:
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I know, it's so cute and goofy.
Reply
:iconcheshiregrinn:
CheshireGrinn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011
I agree. :la:
Reply
:iconlittle--miss--mia:
little--miss--mia Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist
Pfff xD all of that made me snort so loud.

Anyhow, why does Leon have white hair? Is he old? D:
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
No, just lighting. It's actually really dark for blonde.
Reply
:iconlittle--miss--mia:
little--miss--mia Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist
Oh. :3
Reply
:iconyellowpoplartree:
yellowpoplartree Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
How do you make eyes like that?
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
She's a vampire. They just... glow. Their eyes glow insanely bright... even in daylight. Their skin also glows, but not as bright. They certainly don't sparkle. Thank gawd.
Reply
:iconyellowpoplartree:
yellowpoplartree Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's awesome, I wish I had a vampire Sim!! But if they sparkled, I think I'd smash the game to pieces. (Not really obviously, since it was $40 XP)
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol!!! Ditto.
Reply
:iconyellowpoplartree:
yellowpoplartree Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha leon
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
He's so gangsta.
Reply
:iconintruok:
Intruok Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
and a bad-ass
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah yeah!
Reply
:iconthemysterioust:
TheMysteriousT Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011
(snort) "Nurse Meat Pipe". WIN.
Reply
:iconfrigidchick:
Frigidchick Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Whaaaa~?! LOL!
Reply
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